Divining Humanity

Seek The Essense Of Humanity


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THE SELF And CREATING VALUE

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A Person’s Value DOES NOT Come From His/Her ACCOMPLISHMENTS

Women are actually experts at detecting this, especially in men.  They can understand how a man feels about himself, regardless of how much he has or has not accomplished…

But think about it… who really wants a “success” person, who feels horrible about himself / herself?  Such people are miserable and are miserable to be around.

Really, we need to stop thinking that we need to “earn” value.  Value comes when a person has a deep sense of being “right” with himself / herself, with the universe (or God, if you will).

Value based on “success” is fickle.  As long as a person feels “successful” he or she feels valuable.  But my experience has taught me, that feeling “successful” all too quickly wears off.  And soon, I’ve found myself having the need to again “prove” my ability to be “successful.”

Intrinsic value is Powerful.  Circumstances cannot destroy it.

And Granted – People who feel intrinsically valuable often are successful… but even when they are no longer feeling the effects of a recent success, their feelings of value are unaltered.

In fact, even in the worst conditions, they STILL feel valuable.

Because their Strength come from WITHIN and not from Without.


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Permanently Changing Your Way Of BEING Is Extremely Hard!

It IS possible to change, “who you are…”

BUT I takes an ENORMOUS amount of work!

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Currently, I’m trying to regain my “take me as I am,” attitude I used to have, while upgrading my social awareness.

(in essence, I’ve always wanted to become better and better at social awareness, but I believe until recently I had been unaware of vital information to allow me to do so…)

I’m convinced that there are two sets of “rules”…

  •  The rules we are told and taught…
  • The rules that actually are applicable to society

Over the past month or so, I’ve been studying to learn about the latter set of rules…

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Unfortunately, Ihave found, that knowledge of these rules is not enough.

Even a thorough understanding is ineffective…

What is needed is the application of these rules, in my everyday living!

AND It’s very difficult to change the way that I’ve been acting and change the way that I’ve been thinking…

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BUT I must keep my eyes on the prize!

I want a HAPPY ENDING 😀

I keep reminding myself about this goal and I try to move closer to learning how to create the most enriching social relationships possible, the ones that I’ve always dreamed about, and finding as much joy in living as possible!

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It’s a difficult path. Change ALWAYS Is.  There are some impediments.

  • Natural resistance to change (even if we don’t get the results we want there is a strong tendency (inertia) to continue doing what we have always done…)
  • Self-doubt (Real change is often a solitary process – the vast majority of people don’t want to put in the huge but necessary investment needed to change the way the they think… But even the ones who start down the path of change face discouragement soon after some of the “fruits of their labor” start to be evident in their lives.)

Doubt is very strong! When start to recognize the signs that something different is happening (we are (finally) receiving different results).  There are “voices” in our heads telling us that the “changes” we have seen in our life are simply

    • Illusions
    • Anomalies
    • A result of random chance (not behavior change)

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I guess what I want to tell everyone, is that WE ALL Can Be Better!

But You Need To Really, Really, Really Want It – You Got To FIGHT For It!

(You Might Require Guidance – In The Form Of Real Straight-Talk)

And You Need To Play Up The Littlest Perceived Results In Your Mind…

because DOUBT WILL INEVITABLY creep in!


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BEING THE “BEST” – Is BUNK!

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Rising out of the Crucible of Competition… Throw everyone into the fire and we will end up with “only the ‘Best'”…

Somehow or another the world has “regressed” to the belief that “being the ‘Best'” is what is necessary for getting a sense of achievement.

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Or another way of putting it, we live our lives to competiting with each other as if when we finally “earn the Crown of ‘BEST’, we will have feel fulfilled and have unquestioning universal admiration…

But let’s think about it… does it make sense?

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  • Only a FOOL believes that those declared the BEST really ARE the BEST…

These people maybe be good, certainly they excel… but the probability that the absolute BEST person in any field of knowledge of the 7 billion + people on the planet… actually has been found.

Maybe the Better person, or more accurately the BEST person,  doesn’t have the chance to show, to be involved in this field, to develop his or her skills because other things are more pressing.

Example: The best sportsperson, might have to worry about supporting his or her family.  The best artist, might not have someone to promote him or her…

  • Recognition as the BEST is more important that BEING the BEST.

Very few people will actively look for people, who will be declared better.

Imagine a woman, who is declared the most attractive person in the world saying…

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“Wait!  I want to be 100% sure, I’m the most beautiful!  Please search every corner of the world and see if you can find women more beautiful than I!”

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So…

  • The “BEST” is mostly like not actually the BEST

And

  • Our Ego won’t allow other to “dethrone” us once we are declared the best… (assuming, of course, it within our power to forestall them)

So…

In essense, we actually do not and can never be 100% certain that we can know…

Who Is The Best…

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THEREFORE

  • Seeking the BEST and to be the BEST is an exercise in futility…

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Let’s be honest… The problem is not whether or not, “I Am The Best…”

The problem is Ego.  We want to be crowned “BEST,” because secretly we are afraid that we are NOT.

We think that if others unequivocally recognize us as “the BEST,” we can finally convince ourselves unequivocally that we are (good capable people)…

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NOW

I don’t want to “throw the baby out with the bath water…”
I am not saying the standards and evaluation is bad…

but what I am saying is –

  • Compete with YOURSELF (As opposed to others)

Be better than YOU were before and Don’t Worry About What Others Think Of You.

Obiviously all 7 billion + of us cannot possibly be “The ‘BEST'”… but we can “crown” ourselves for being more true to ourselves by…

Finding Out – “What Makes ME Happy?”

And Focus On

improving those areas of your life that make YOU feel like you are doing things that Better YOU!


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THE PATH To Freedom And Inner Peace

The HARDEST lesson to learn is that the world won’t change for you!

The hardest LESSON to learn is that the world won’t change for you!

The hardest lesson to LEARN is that the world won’t change for you!

The hardest lesson to learn is that the WORLD won’t change for you!

The hardest lesson to learn is that the world WON’T CHANGE for you!

The hardest lesson to learn is that the world won’t change FOR YOU!

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The Boy And The Viper

There was once a young boy.  He was a normal boy, curious, playful, optimistic.  One day when he was playing, he happened upon a viper.  He had never seen a snake before in his life, so curiously he approached.  He walked up to the snake as non-threateningly as possible, palm open fingers wide to show his friendly intent.

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But suddenly the viper shot towards his hand and protruded it’s fangs and bit deeply into the boy’s hand…

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In this story, you really cannot fault the boy.  He is inexperienced; he doesn’t see the danger that the viper represents.

But how many of us (By “us” I include myself), make similar mistakes in our daily lives.  Yet, we should really know better!  Sometimes I think we take the “Golden Rule” too far.  (“Do to others as you want them to do to you.”)  And actually it’s because we are too egocentric.  We think to ourselves, what would I do, if someone did this to me.

We make a mistakes of Making Ourselves Innocent.  And just like the boy, we reach out a curious friendly hand, but are Shocked when the viper bites.

Just think about it.  Think about what other people do to make you upset.  They lie and say things you don’t like… they do things that you don’t like.

BUT how often to we ACTUALLY look at other people and evaluate THEIR Nature?  How often do we look at someone else and see if they have an aggressive, greedy, or dangerous nature?
I think the problem is too often we see others as “just like me,” and not for who they really are.

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Now when a viper bites, should we really harbor resentment against the viper.  Vipers naturally don’t trust humans.  They see us as a threat.  The bite the viper gave the boy… wasn’t personal… it was just instinct!

But too often we treat others who “harm” us in life like this.  We think that it’s personal…

“He did that to hurt me!!!”

Then we leave the situation poisoned by bitterness, anger, hurt, which sometimes festers and becomes hatred.

And how often do we make the foolish mistake of reaching out to the viper again, only to allow it to increase on the harm already done?

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I don’t want to seem to advocate never being nice to anyone, but only to not expect others to react just like you.  If it’s in your nature to be kind and give to others, do it… but only a little bit and see the reaction.

Maybe if the boy got outside of himself and his own feelings, he might see the telltale signs of inherent danger in the viper’s behavior as he stepped towards the snake.

Then he might have adverted the bite and wouldn’t have been harmed in any way…


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Self-help Book With A Sinister Twist

Surprisingly, I’ve found reading Robert Greene’s book, “The 48 Laws of Power,” to be quite an enriching experience.  I like what it has to say and that it’s is undeniably advocates clandestine acts.

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Most other “self-help” books that I have read, assume that people are “basically good.”  This book on the other hand, lays out to bare the innate (carnal) desires of people and our natural weakness.

In the introduction, Greene states that ALL people have the desire for more power (or influence if you find that term more palatable).

Power might be defined as more money…

Power might be defined as doing what you want when you want…

Power might be defined as having your children listen to what you say (which still is a form of power – you want them to not do what they natural want to do, but instead try to get them to do what You think they should do)…

But beyond just teaching the reader, “how to get more power.” (and conversely how to avoid losing it.)  Greene demonstrates a keen insight into human nature, itself.  And such an insight in necessary to better relate to others.

 

So overall, I recommend this book, because it is in opposition to many of the ideas postulated in other books and because I believe that it definitely adds a more realistic view of the world and how it operates.


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Charity – Source Is Important

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Imagine a situation in which a person gave you $5,000,000 USD.

Would you feel different if the person was a very rich person (for example Bill Gates) than if it was a close friend of yours (who maybe won the lottery?

If the giver of the money matters, this reflect the complexity of human beings…

The same action done under different conditions leads to different feelings and responses.


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THE INDEPENDENCE DILEMMA – Rule Or Be Ostracized

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If one chooses the path of true independence, there are not many choices.  If one is truly independent he is not a slave to any philosophy, rule, social pressure and other forces that attempt to define him…

The independent, “breaks the rules”, because he is free to accept or abandon any idea at will.  He doesn’t have the need to have to believe anything.  Rather his beliefs are flexible or more accurately updateable as he learns and understand.

He is an “old dog” who can “learn new tricks.”  A rare breed indeed.

In general, society does not like those who are different.  So intense pressure is put on the independent thinker to conform.

He is then left with three choice:

  • Continue demonstratively to be independent…
  • Be someone else and conform to the “wishes” of society overall…
  • Be whatever role which will appease others, take the reins of the social horse, and steer people in the way he wishes them to go…

All but the last way, requires one to sacrifice one’s personality without any compensatory response from society… in fact the independent will reap ostracization. The last can provide the independent with so much of what he wants… but possibly rotting his soul in the process.